An Ecua-Wedding

On Saturday, January 12, I went to Ibarra for my “cousin” Sandrita’s wedding with Olgar. I left Quito with my “brother” Luis Fernando, my “aunt” Pati, and “cousin” Roxanna at 9:30 am Saturday morning, and drove (yes, drove, no buses involved this time) the two hours to Ibarra with a 30 minute stop in Cayambe for Biscocho (a local cheese pastry) and yogurt. We arrived at noon just as the wedding was about to begin.

The wedding was a Catholic one. Upon entering, I have to admit that I was a little nervous about how long it would take, because there were chairs in front for the groom and bride to sit on (only 30 minutes). This was my first wedding with chairs. Well…one of my first weddings, period. Three to date. Pathetic? Interestingly, there were no bridesmaids or groomsmen. Instead, the parents sat/stood up front with them. I don’t know if this is typical for Catholic weddings, or if it is just an Ecua-tradition, but nevertheless, something I found peculiar. Furthermore, everyone there was family. I didn’t meet one person who was a friend. Reception included. That put a damper on my hopes of meeting a nice Ecuatoriana my age.

The reception took place at a beautiful hacienda on the outskirts of town. Upon arriving, I got a funny feeling like I was part of a drug cartel family celebration from the movies or something (a la the quincienera in “El Crimen del Padre Amaro). Imagine 20 cars rolling up to this sprawling hacienda and with about 50 Latinos (is that stereotypical?) standing around in their best suits and dresses. I don’t know, it was just an impression that struck me.

Lunch was delicious. We ate shrimp salad (with too much thousand island-ish dressing, but was nevertheless quite good), chicken stuffed with spinach, rice (of course), and vegetables. A good meal. Although the alcohol did not start to flow until after the cake. I was a little shocked. Plus, no wine or beer, only Johnny Walker Red Label on the rocks (the drink of choice at all ecua-special occasions). Ooh, almost forgot. The cake was incredible!!!!!!!

After cake, the dancing began, and we danced for about 2 hours to a DJ playing salsa, merengue, cumbia, regetón, reggae, bachata, and a mix of other genres as well. After 2 hours of dancing, the band showed up. A little late. But it was a Mariachi band; I wasn’t too thrilled. Mariachi music does not exactly lend itself nicely to dancing. They had great harmony though. Props for that.

The whole wedding thing got me thinking. I have a general fear of marriage. I think something about the “Till death do you part” scares me a bit. I jokingly would say this to my family and my bride-cousin, and they would all respond by saying something to the effect of: “that isn’t really true anymore.” And really, here in Ecuador, it isn’t. Men, and women to a lesser extent, don’t take their Ecua-vows very seriously. Men repeatedly cheat. Mariana, my host-mom, left her husband when she found out he had a second family. And the sad thing is that this is not uncommon in Ecuador. I have met Ecuadorian men who cannot understand why I would only want one girlfriend, and I have many Ecuadorian friends who are seeing multiple girls at the same time. On the coast, with men sometimes have 3, 4, or 5 wives.

So with all this in mind, I have to ask myself: what is the point of marriage? Currently, I have heard that 80% of marriages are ending in divorce! 80%! The odds are not good for this new couple. Many of these divorces are in marriages where the couple marry because the guy impregnates the girl (birth control is not very common in this Catholic country). So my cousin-bride has that going for her…I think. They have dated for seven years or so. But back to the other question. If 80% of marriages end in divorce, what is the point of marriage? Why get married? Is it any different from being a couple together? Is it done so that people can live together? Is done for the sex? So that they can move out of their parents’ house (men and women live with their parents until marriage)? If most men have every intention of cheating on their wives, why get married? Why take the vow of faithfulness until death? I don’t get it. Am I being too negative?

One other interesting factoid about Ecuadorian weddings. Anticipating their divorce in the future and leaving themselves with a backdoor to walk out, most Ecuadorians only get married through the government and not through the church. The government allows divorces. The church obviously does not. So if you only get married legally and not spiritually or religiously, it isn’t as permanent.

But overall, the wedding was a great event and a lot of fun. The families had a lot of fun together, the dancing was great, everyone seemed happy, and the food was tasty too.

Shit Happens

Shit Happens

Sorry readers, but there are no photos for this blog, because this sort of occurrence does not lend itself easily to taking pictures.

Anyway, I was robbed. Monday. 6 pm-ish. Walking through Parque El Ejido (I have found out post-hoc that this park is dangerous and should always be avoided. Great to know now.) It was raining. I was late. On my way to salsa. I was taking the quickest route I knew. I’d taken it before. Rain, late-ness, busy-ness, excited for salsa = not thinking, stupid, letting my guard down, not keeping my wits about me. My fault. Avoidable.

I was walking through the park when suddenly a tall black man from Colombia (I think) quickly walked towards me so that by this time (earlier…different decisions could have been made leading to avoidance) I didn’t have time to avoid him. At first I thought he was a pan-handler, and I was like, “whoa dude. No. Leave me alone.” He continued to rattle off in Spanish and reached for his pocket, at which point I realized this wasn’t part of my daily routine with street beggars.

I looked around for help, but seeing as it was raining and I was in the park, there weren’t many people around (see the stupidity?). I looked left, and I saw one person yelling as he ran towards me. I thought, “Oh, maybe this person can help me.” But as I began to appeal for help, I realized he was a second thief. Chuta. I looked right. Two more people running at me yelling. I’m starting to get the idea, but still I start to ask for help. But no. Two more thieves. Chuta. Otra vez. Then I look behind me and I see another man. By now I understand and I don’t even bother asking for help. A fifth thief. I’m screwed. So I gave them what they wanted: my money ($5, haha), my phone (that part sucks), and my umbrella (it had just broken that day, but maybe it’ll keep them dry-er). I’m sure they were surprised. Here I was: a white man in nice shoes and a nice jacket, who probably looked loaded. They even asked me: “That’s it?”

I was lucky though. Credit cards: check. My nice shoes and the jacket which was a b-day gift from my bros: check. My safety, health, and physical well being: check. Aside from the annoyance of having to replace my phone contacts and maybe having a couple lost forever, nothing really bad happened. I wasn’t hurt, I wasn’t given any nightmare or paranoia material, and I didn’t lose that much.

Afterwards, I remember thinking: “Is that it? Was I just robbed?” It seemed kind of surreal and matter of fact and business-like. Almost as if I wasn’t too shocked. Well…I wasn’t. I expected it to happen eventually in my travels. I still went to my dance class and had a great time, and it gave me something to bond with my classmates about. I was shaken up and distracted for the first 30 minutes of class or so, but dancing is a great mental distraction. Now I’m not exactly rattled. I have some of the fear back in me of walking the streets of Quito. But I’m realistic. That situation was completely avoidable. I just can’t ever let my guard down. If I do, shit will happen again.

It got me thinking though about the idea of stealing, and how f*$ked up it all is. At first I wasn’t too angry at the thieves, because they looked poor, they were probably only looking for money so they could eat, and they didn’t hurt me. But they forcefully took something that was mine. I had worked for it. It was on my body. My property. Gone. Because they were five, I was one. Them reaching into my pockets to get my $2 in change. Violating my personal space. Think about it. Even though they needed to eat (or get high, something), with time, I have grown less and less sympathy for them. They took what I had earned.

On the positive side, to the credit of my Spanish, I was able to successfully negotiate the robbery in Spanish. I understood them, talked to them, and at first tried to refuse them in Spanish. Maybe the fact that it didn’t work is another testament to my skills. Haha.

My next entry was going to be titled: “Things are looking up” or something like that. Because life overall in Ecuador is good right now, and it is continuing to improve. Even being robbed, my new found enthusiasm for the country is not fading. But that is for an entry coming soon.

Christmas and New Years at la Playa

Since I went home for Thanksgiving (a post about this coming soon), it was not possible for me to fly home for the holidays too. Being a time for family and tradition, I foresaw a lonely and homesick Christmas. While I generally do not get homesick, I did not know what to expect from my first Christmas away from home. To distract myself, I decided to do something so different from the typical Christmas and hopefully so awesome that I would be unable to draw comparisons to my normal Christmas and avoid some of the homesickness.

The plan included three parts. One, surround myself with as many of my good American friends here in Ecuador as possible. Two, go to the beach, lie in the sun, and play in the ocean. And three, have fun.

On the 23^rd of September, I boarded a night bus for Montañita at 7 pm with two other English professors, Megan and Heather. Three more friends – Katie Skipper, Ashley, and her boyfriend Andrew – were awaiting our arrival. Night buses alone are quite the adventure, and might require their own post some day. But for now, just imagine racing through mountain roads at sickening speeds, watching your bus pass cars around corners while you have no clue if a car or truck is coming in the opposite direction, and then 11 hours after leaving Quito in the mountains, waking up at the beach. Actually, the bus was only 9 hours, even though it was supposed to take 11, but if you do the math, that means we pulled into Puerto Lopez, a town where we had to transfer buses, at 4 am! The only time I have ever cursed a bus making good time. Amazingly, buses run down the coast at that ungodly hour. Who knew? So two hours later, at 6 am on Christmas Eve, we pulled into Montañita ready for the next 9 days at the beach, even if we were completely sleep deprived.

Yes. 9 days and 8 nights at the beach Ecuador. It’s a tough life. It would be silly to recount every day, so a summary will have to suffice. Allow me to describe the typical day.

I slowly and with great difficulty climb out of bed at 10 am or so, with my only motivation the beach that lies ahead for me. I can hear the waves from my bed, and I know that the window for getting some rays is quickly passing. After lathering up, I shuffle in my sandals and swimsuit to the Tiki Limbo, where I order my porridge with fresh tropical fruit (mango, pineapple, papaya, and bananas), fresh brewed coffee, and banana milkshake. All for just $2.25. Over my coffee and breakfast (see picture), I read “Love in the Time of Cholera” (an incredible book which I highly recommend) as I continue to wage war with the demons left-over from the night before.

Around 12:30, I finally find myself on the beach with my other WorldTeach friends (while we started with six people on the 24^th, by the 31^st

there were about 20-25 of us. By this time I have declared victory over the morning as I begin to soak in the warm equatorial sun. Our beach time was pretty typical in the way that typical beach time is incredibly awesome. Laying in the sun, body-surfing, real surfing, reading, walking, soccer games and surrounded by beautiful people in swimsuits. All in the luxury of nothing but my board shorts. A life and wardrobe I only dream about in Quito at 9500 ft. while slaving away in slacks and dress shirt. Only when the sun sets at 6:30 do I even dare to take my leave from the hot white sand.

After the beach, we clean up for the night, and put on some presentable clothes (jeans, a t-shirt, and sandals). Dinner at 9 pm, then followed by a night at the bars with delicious fruity drinks and dancing on the sand. A live reggae/rock cover band begins at 1 am in a club called Caña Grill, and at 2 am, we progress to La Fugata or a thatched roof bar on the beach for salsa, merengue, and regeton dancing on the sand until 4 am (on average). After just 6 hours of sleep, once again I struggle out of bed with the sound of the breaking waves enticingly floating into me.

Christmas Day in particular was a lot of fun. In the morning, I made French toast (my first time making it, but apparently I’m a natural) and the girls cut up a fruit salad (also excellent), and we bought mango, strawberry and blackberry batidos (juice with milk) from a street vendor. After breakfast, I talked with my family for an hour on the phone (I hope it was with Skype), and then we went to the beach (see picture). While I didn’t surf on Christmas (one of my hopes), I did body-surf. At night, we splurged on a special dinner ($10). I had swordfish with mango sauce.

At this point, I should probably talk about the food. Basically, seafood. Incredible seafood. Everyday on the beach, for a late afternoon snack, I ordered ceviche with oysters and shrimp. It was exactly a year ago on a Mexican beach that I first tried oysters (thanks Tim), and I absolutely love them. Ceviche is a combination of seafood and vegetables in a vinegary sauce. I watched the guy open the oysters on the spot and prepare the ceviche individually for me. Absolutely delicious. New Year’s Day I ate Encebollado, supposedly the hangover cure food. It is similar to ceviche, but in some kind of broth along with cheese (I think). Good, but not as good as ceviche. Plus, I think I would have enjoyed it more as a dinner or lunch. Finally, Montañita is home to wonderful variety of world cuisine. So, I got a nice break from the typical Ecua-food (another post).

Finally, New Years was also a lot of fun. It was pretty much like every other night during the week with dancing on the beach, but there were some awesome festivities at midnight. First, there is a cool tradition where all the surfers try to catch their last wave of the year at midnight. Second, an Ecuadorian tradition is to burn the “old year”. Everyone builds or buys his or her own paper mache statue of a cartoon or political figure, and throw it into a bonfire at midnight (see picture). Usually there are fireworks inside. Third, Montañita had an incredible firework display. Basically, it was a five minute grande finale. They didn’t mess around with the boring preliminary stuff, but cut straight to the cake.

I sadly had to end my vacation on the 1^st and return to Quito, where I resumed classes on the 2^nd. I did not want to leave the beach. Life was so stress-free and tranquilo and relajado that I simply did not want to return to the big city life of Quito. Fortunately, I will be returning within the month to the beach, and I will have a couple weeks to travel up and down the coast in February. Viva la Costa.

That’s all. If you made it this far, I commend you for your endurance. I look forward to hearing from all of you who are taking the time to read this. Please let me know how life is treating you.

Lastly, if there is anything about Ecuador you are curious about, please let me know, and I will make a post about it.